It's Funny How Things Happen...

After making the decision tonight to slip into my pjs, cuddle up with a book, and go to bed tonight to rise early and do work, I decided to pick up my journal from the summer I spent studying in Paris. I began to read the last few entries and feel compelled to copy word for word my last entry (albeit it very fragmented -- it was hand written). These last few weeks have been tiresome for me, and I have come to realize the excess worrying and emotions that have engulfed my life and, therefore, ability to remain positive about basically everything. Unfortunately, I have seen the manifestations of this negativeness. Therefore, tonight I made the conscious decision to shift my train of thought. And I would never imagine that it would be my own words that would give me the strength I so desperately was seeking. It's quite funny how things happen...


July 2005

So it's my last night here. I don't want to fall asleep. I really feel so sad I'm leaving tomorrow. Being here has been so amazing. Living with this family and taking classes... really feeling at ease in this city has been incredible. I really don't want to fall asleep tonight to wake up and have to leave. The past few days I have really been excited to go home, but now that it's here all I want to do is stay longer. I love this city. I cannot wait to come back. I have learned so much. I couldn't say what all I have learned, bc it is indescribable. I wish so badly that I ha the ability to remember everything I saw, touched, and smelled. Even the stinky Metros. I want to remember the way this house smells. The blind man and his dog T saw almost everyday on my way to IES. The awesome boulangerie sandwiches. Note to self: put hard-boiled eggs on sandwiches. I want to remember the feelings I had when I first saw the Eiffel Tower from the Metro. I want to remember the Rose 9 Euro and Monsieur Miel... and the creme brulee I had. I want to remember the people at IES and the awesome food we had at the farewell lunch... my teachers Sophie and Jeanne. My Franglais. My caramel tea in the mornings. And the morning I dropped the jar of coffee on the floor... how horrible the showers were... the noises throughout the building...my comfy bed...the beauty of Sacre Coeur...the expensive nights out...these mixed emotions...puking in the IES garden after drinking a plastic bottle of wine...being so happy to feel like I bonded with my family one last night or time...walking down the street listening to people speak and how I can understand most of it. Seeing the Eiffel Tower sparkle makes you feel giddy...meeting people here...all different types of people...people who I have learned to tolerate and who made me think about myself. And the girls that I have truly become great friends with -- these girls that I can say or do anything with. They have been amazing. I am so lucky to have done this. I kept thinking tonight at I watched the show at the party about how I am so damn luck and there has to be someone up there who really loves me and is giving me days like today that can make me feel this way. I feel like I have it all. And if there comes a time when I'm not like this or do not feel like this I should know and have faith that a day like today will come again...because these amazing days do happen...

Tattooed Under Fire

Tattooed Under Fire is a documentary by UT Prof. Nancy Schiesari that tells reveals the significance of tattoo work for a number of US soldiers before and after their Iraqi deployment. I had the amazing opportunity to work as her GRA (graduate research assistant) last semester on post-production projects for the film project. One of which was a short video profile for the tattoo artist Brannon Grant that can now be seen on the website. If you get the opportunity to see the film, I highly recommend it. It is powerful and portrays an important perspective. Check out the website Tattooed Under Fire and watch my clip! You can find it on the "Video Extras" page.